When Did You Know?

In trans culture, there's a common term, "egg," which refers to someone who is trans, but hasn't come to terms with it yet. When a trans person finally figures out that they're trans (which happened to me last year, well into middle age), their egg is said to have cracked. But that's not the only pivotal moment in a trans person's gender journey.

Another interesting time to me is, "When did you know?" When did you figure out that you were the wrong gender, whether or not you had language to describe it? For me, this is a frustratingly vague thing, as the first time I became conscious that I might be the wrong gender was roughly the same time I first thought I might be trans, in my late 40s. But I suspect that I also had an inkling, a thought that wouldn't quite form in my head, at a very early age, perhaps 4-6 years old. It was quickly beaten out of me, both literally and figuratively, on the playgrounds of daycare and kindergarten, and remained hidden for another 40+ years.

I've always been curious about other people's experience of these things, as I try to figure out what happened to me, and how I ended up where I am now. To that end, I put together a poll on Mastodon, and asked the question like so:

I think the most interesting thing about that response is how evenly spread it is. Counter to the narrative I have in my head that every trans person figured it out as a young child and then hid from themselves, over half of folks responding said they were over 20.

So, next time you find yourself lamentin what a late-bloomer you are, well, here's some evidence to suggest that you're probably not blooming as late as you think. You're actually in pretty good company.